Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Best & The Worst of Upcoming Action/Adventure Movie Trailers

Like some of you other media nerds, I like to keep a-breast (hyphenated on purpose) of any upcoming flicks worth shelling out to see. The Apple Movie Trailers website is a great place to do that - tons of previews, from indie to big-budget are posted there - and that includes some really goddamn AWFUL ones. After the jump, my top picks of some trailers for action/adventure movies that look pretty awesome - and some that make me want to gauge out my eyes with a spork.

Here's the deal: the trailers might be good as their own separate entity, but I'm basing my judgements on how the movie looks in my extremely humble personal opinion. Humble pie.

Big Screen-Worthy

It is my duty as a comic book geekstress to see this movie in the theaters. I would engage in coital debauchery with the mere idea of this film. Period.


Pew-pew! Boom! Jeffrey Dean Morgan! Chris Evans! Popcorn!

I love me some M. Night Shyamalamadingdong, and this one looks like it could be one of his best.

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Click "Read More" for the Netflix Queue-Worthy and Spork-Eye-Gauging Worthy trailers!

Netflix Queue-Worthy

This really teetered on Big-Screen Worthy, because I love the subject and the story, and I heart Ben Kingsley - but I hate Jake Gyllenhaal's face enough to protest paying twelve bucks to see it on a giant scale for 2 hours.

This one will be great to watch while I'm not really paying attention. And when I am paying attention, it will only be for the scenes where Ethan Hawke is tawpless.

I really don't know what this movie is about (nope, not a sequel to District 9, amazingly enough), but there's a lot of "pew-pew" and "ahhhhhh!" going on, so it will be another great one to watch while I don't pay attention and have no idea what's going on.

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Spork-Eye-Gauging Worthy

This movie is so evil that it has stolen my ability to verbalize my distaste with its satanic powers.

Kind of farcical action-adventure - but I thought this character sucked on SNL anyway. Despite the all-star cast (Phillippe, Kilmer, Wiig), I still think this movie is going to be a big pile of forced-satirical crap.

I don't even know how this classifies as an "action" movie, but it makes me want to "actively" mutilate myself.


gregory said...

war machine makes my pants tight.

McBoing Boing said...

I say good night to M. Night---he make my life hurt!

Mighty Tanaka said...

District 13 (Originally called District B-13) is a french movie that came out YEARS ago. Like, I saw this film when I was living in England in '06. It seems they finally translated it to english! The movie, as it was intended, was supposed to be a cross over between action and Parkour. But it seems that the American version lost its connection with Parkour and are marketing it as another "District 9" action flick. This film stars David Belle, the founding guru of Parkour, so its a shame that American audiences are left in the dark about all of this.

stevenmbari said...

i hate all the Gyllenhaals' faces. Iron man is gunna be awesome!

Jacob said...

The film is appropriately titled, "District B13-Ultimatum." It is a sequel to the aforementioned "District B-13" which does a fine mix of parkour and good-cop/bad-cop style action, but gets lost in its lame storyline of big government and dystopian society preaching. Entertaining, but not enough action if you ask moi. If you like Tony Jaa movies, you'll appreciate this. The sequel is getting good reviews...I'll definitely see it.

Cara Underwood said...

I feel like I don't know you anymore - YOU HATE JAKE GYLLENHALLS FACE???!!??!! wh-wh-whhhhaaat???

Killer list sweetness!!

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