Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Happy Blogtime! Brief Bulleted Review: "Ninja Assassin"


In this poor economic state (and by “this” I mean “my”), I very rarely shell out the bucks to see a movie at the theater, so it takes a gem of a film to peak my interest enough to sacrifice what little disposable income I have (and by “disposable income” I mean “I don’t have any”). With Ninja Assassin, it was a complete given that I would see it in the theater – ninjas? assassinating people? assassinating other ninjas? Heck yes! The trailer boasted sweet fight scenes à la The Matrix trilogy's Wachowski Brothers, a riveting storyline – a ninja scorned returning to his clan to exact revenge-by-death upon them – and a true taste of the tongue-in-cheek ninja films of Japan that I so adore.

What we actually got as the reel started turning? A clichéd American-style Europol “thriller” that happened to involve ninjas. The opening scene was indeed promising, with some seriously blithe and bloody slicing & dicing (almost Tarantino-style), but it only went downhill from there, with barely noticeable dialogue, uncharismatic characters (besides the lead, Raizo) and a deadly dull, unintelligent plot.

Pros
• Ninjas
• Ninjas
• Ninjas
• Main character Raizo's (South Korean pop idol, Rain) hot ninja body.
• The fight scenes were well done: lots of ninja stars, swords, hand-to-hand combat and over-the-top gore.
• That's it. Seriously.

Qualms
• The ninjas spoke pristine English – not even a Japanese accent. Would have been nice to create a sense of authenticity and mystery.
• The entire Europol story line – and it wasn’t even good as a movie in that genre. Couldn’t this just be about a ninja exacting revenge upon his evil clan?
• The Western clichés dotted throughout, even down to the hero carrying the female lead in slo-mo from a burning building.
• *SPOILER ALERT* Nobody really wants to see ninjas defeated – they are the epitome of stealth and combative talent. Defeatable ninjas kind of lose their cool factor.


Ninja Assassin gets 1.5 out of 5 ninja stars on my rating scale, five being the best.

What did YOU think??

1 comment:

movies and advertising said...

I like Rain and I really enjoy his film specially the choreography of the fight scenes.

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