Monday, May 4, 2009

The Happy Blogtime! Brief Bulleted Review: "X-Men Origins: Wolverine"

I know everyone's pretty darn sick of reading reviews/hearing about the X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie, and I'm with you, folks. So as not to exacerbate that emotion, but to still share my opinion, I'll give you a brief, bulleted review - Happy Blogtime! style.

*SPOILER ALERT*

       Pros 
  1. Great casting: Taylor Kitsch as Gambit, Will.i.am as Kestrel/John Wraith, Liev Schreiber as Sabretooth and Ryan Reynolds as Wade Wilson (pre-Deadpool transformation). 
  2. Naked Wolverine.
  3. The opening credits of the movie - Watchmen-esque and explained a lot in just a few minutes, especially the progression of Sabretooth's growing bloodthirst.
  4. Admittedly sweet action scenes. The movie consisted of MOSTLY action scenes; this, more than anything else, was an ACTION movie that happened to cast comic book characters.
  5. Naked Wolverine, naked Gambit, naked Wade Wilson and naked Sabretooth. Oh wait, that was a dream I had.
  6. No real CGI abuse.

       Cons 
  1. Blatant story arc/factual inconsistencies with the comics: Silver Fox and Emma Frost are sisters? Sabretooth and Wolverine are DEFINITELY brothers? Deadpool has claws and optic blasts? Wolverine's memory loss was....when? The Blob had an EATING DISORDER?? Bitch plz!

    UPDATE from Angie (Batgirl): Apparently "Deadpool" wasn't even really Deadpool - Weapon XI was a clone, which is cleared up in a secret ending as a prep/lead-in to the upcoming Deadpool movie. This does (kinda) explain some things. 


  2. Although Kitsch looked great as Gambit, Remy's signature, nearly-incomprehensible New Orleans accent was non-existent. And where's that adorable little fedorah-thing he wears?
  3. The Gambit and Wolverine team-up is cool, but would never happen in "real life." Both mutants are rebels and stand-alone fighters. For the movie's sake, I guess it was necessary/cool....but not believable.
  4. Silver Fox is boring. And we don't even really know it's Silver Fox until the end credits.
  5. The dialogue was cheddar. I know they were trying to sound "comic-book-y," but it came off real cheesy.
  6. There's more. But I'm done complaining...honest.

Overall rating? 3 out of 5 SNIKTS!

Synopsis: This was an ACTION movie more than anything else. If you've never read the comics or don't have a viable working knowledge of the characters, I think you'll enjoy it. However, X-Men aficionados be warned - there are so many inconsistencies with the story and the characters in this film, you will most likely leave the theater seething.

No need to click "Read More" - there's nothing else!

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Actually the only accurate thing was that Wolverine and Sabretooth were brothers. It was alluded to in the comic.

Batgirl said...

And supposedly, that freaky white guy wasn't really Wade Wilson/Deadpool. Weapon XI was a clone or something...There was a secret ending that cleared that up (for the eventual Deadpool movie) but I haven't heard of anyone seeing it yet.

Rob said...

"Origin" does allude to a family connection between Wolverine and Sabretooth, but it's very open to interpretation. I don't recall anything that makes the connection anything close to obvious.

Also, I saw the Deadpool ending, and if it's the same one Batgirl is talking about, it really doesn't clear anything up.

Brandon said...

Yeah, the Wolverine/Sabertooth connection in the real Marvel U is pretty murky. There's some thought that they might be brothers, but nothing firm. Byrne wanted Sabertooth (who I guess was an Iron Fist villain?) to be Wolverine's father and be 120 years old or something.

Also, why did this movie have alternate secret endings depending on which reel of film your theater got? It's the late 00s equivalent of mid-nineties variant covers or something.

BillZilla said...

It's been a while since I've read Origin, but I don't recall there being an allusion to wolverine and sabretooth being brothers. Of course maybe I just blocked that out.. because it's a stupid idea.

Batgirl said...

@Rob-You probably saw the same one I did, where the head says "Shh" (everyone in my theater thought it was stupid). This is the ending I was talking about:

http://www.geektyrant.com/2009/04/2-altwolv/

But I haven't heard of anyone else who saw that one.

Greg said...

There's speculation that Sabretooth is Dog Logan from Origin, but Paul Jenkins has stated that that wasn't his intention. (Though he hasn't ruled it out if another writer wants to make it so.)

Originally, Sabretooth was to be Logan's father (kind of like how Mystique and Destiny were supposed to be Nightcrawler's biological parents) but that was changed after so many people guessed it.

A blood test later proved that Logan and Victor are not related in any way. Which will be retconned now that a movie has said they are.

BillZilla said...

I never got the impression that Dog was Victor Creed. I DID read the issues (way back in '91 or whenever it came out) that suggested and then immediately afterward retracted the possibility of Sabretooth being Wolverine's dad. (I don't remember the issue numbers but it was an arc mostly about Albert and Elsie Dee for all you old folks).

At the time I was disappointed (I was twelve), but now I'm awfully glad.

NOT EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE RELATED!

DavePress said...

yeah, i haven't heard a peep about that Deadpool ending. All I saw was Wolverine in Japan.

long island girl said...

i have always loved the x-men most especially wolverine because of his unique but powerful powers. when they made this film, me and my family really watched it. great movie effects, fantastic actors and wonderful story.

Anonymous said...

IN the first X Men movie it seems that Scott Summers/Cyclops meets Wolverine for the first time yet in Origins Wolverine saved him as a kid from the island.

creativemf said...

As a guy who had EVERY Xmen from ish 94 - on; and being a sucker for the Marvel sub-branding aesthetic, I have to say the concept and content of the film package is weak. I was never a fan of the Hollywood casting job - Always wonder'd why Jason Statham wasn't WOLVERINE (cos he's short! and BAD!) Don't much like the Aussie ... and we need a REAL African for Storm. (ay yi yi ..)

Anonymous said...

^^ scott didnt see logan he had his eyes covered the whole time save one blast

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