Sunday, January 18, 2009

Best Show...of All Time?? VH1's 'Tool Academy' Surprisingly Not a Doc About My Exes

If your life is in need of an extra dose of douchebaggery, then it's time to switch on VH1 and get schooled by Tool Academy. I've only seen the first two episodes, but I have the good sense to know that this is going to be something....special. You can catch some clips here on VH1's website; my favorites are the hidden camera challenges - watch these dudes fail miserably at keeping it in their pants.

Meanwhile, check out the promo commercial to view the wonder that is the Academie de la Douches:

The not-so hard-to-figure-out twist? Turns out the biggest tools are the girlfriends that stick around for their d-bag boyfriend's BS.

Click "Read More" for a few of my favorite, memorable quotes from the first couple of episodes.

"I'm a slam dunk on the court and in the bedroom, baby."

"I woulda had those ears by the ankles. I...I...wait, scratch that, my girl's gonna get mad. Ok, I would have made sweet, sweet love to her."

"This is about fidelity, and obviously, I'm the most infidel of everybody."

Read more!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

What I'm Reading Now - Heart of Empire: The Legacy of Luther Arkwright by Bryan Talbot

Here's what I'm reading RIGHT THIS MINUTE! No time for wording, just doing! Then after this, The Adventures of Luther Arkwright again. So continues my Bryan Talbot fever. I don't think it will ever end, actually.

No need to click "Read More," there's nothing else.
Read more!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Growing My Very Own Unicorn: Day 9

Ding! Unicorn's ready!!!

No need to click "Read More," there's nothing else.
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The Best and the Brightest of "Thanks for the Add" Artwork

As you seasoned MySpacers and Facebookers (and Friendsters? ahh, vintage) know, it's outright RUDE and UNGRATEFUL to not thank someone for adding them as your friend. How will they know how THANKFUL and PLEASED you are for joining their social networking community if you don't extend your gratitude?

If I had no jurisdiction over the comments on my MySpace page, it would be a veritable gallery of delightful animated .gifs orginating circa 1999, and beautiful Microsoft-Paint-procured homemade "thanks" that TRULY warm my heart. They're sparkly, bulbous, and extremely high-quality.

Throughout my interweb journeys I've happened upon many remarkable "Thank You For the Add" works of art - and I'd like to share just a few of those with you. HOWEVER, the purpose of this post is to get YOU to submit YOUR most favorite pieces - so send 'em on over for a future post:

Click "Read More" to see more radiance.



Read more!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Short Fiction: 'Adri's Headphones,' by John Hulme

Oy! So busy writing and blogging and PR-ing and customer serving and mocking and...phew!

Amidst all this action-Jackson, I wanted to share another piece of AWESOME from my favorite Brit, John from Smoke Rings & Matterings, who was inspired to write a story about the Angel/Devil headphones from my "Asian Invasion: Cute/Weird Stuff I Want from Japan" post. (PS: to my right - sweetest fan art....ever???)

I've checked out a bunch of his other fiction, and I recommend you do the same - he has one of those imaginations that's just off-the-charts incredible. In fact, I'm a bit jealous (see my previous post about my imagination gone missing).

So here it is - an insightful piece from John that actually brought tears to my eyes by the end. It's funny when people you've never met IRL really get you.

Click "Read More" to read Adri's Headphones!

Adri's Headphones
by John Hulme

"They always told us not to stroke the aliens -

"not to pet them, or cuddle them, and especially not to feed them.

"There was plenty of grazing space out on the open nebula. They didn't need to come down here, nibbling on tasty crumbs of quiet awe and wild imaginings from startstruck space tourists. It was just greed on their part, and we did them no favours by encouraging them.

"Besides, we could see their flocking displays perfectly well from the observation domes - so there was really no need to seek closer contact. Why take the risk?

"Everyone knew that contact with the aliens was fraught with danger.

"But I just couldn't resist. This was the chance to stare into a totally new set of eyes and see what galaxies lay beyond them. Back on our homeworld, we had forgotten how to do that a long time ago..."

Adri reached up and yanked the phones out of her ears.

"What the hell was that?" she found herself asking aloud. "I didn't even make a connect..."

Suddenly, she looked up at the little cloud hanging over her head.

OK, she thought, this is officially weird.

The toaster wasn't burning, the oven wasn't on... so why was there a small, perfectly-formed cloud hanging in the middle of the kitchen? And why were her earphones plugged into it? She was sure she'd plugged them into her laptop... hadn't she?

Do clouds even have connection points?

As she was pondering these things, the cloud quickly dissolved, allowing the headphone connection to drop harmlessly onto the kitchen table.

As she picked it up, a low tingle of excitement began to tingle somewhere in Adri's steadily hyperventilating chest.

She looked again at the little earphones, moulded into a cute, blobby alien design. Even though they were now no longer connected to anything, she placed them carefully back into her ears, and listened:

"Welcome to a whole new Universe," said the space girl's voice.

As Adri looked down at the end of the headphone cable, she could see a small cloud beginning to form around it. Small glowing pieces of micro-asteroid swirled and flared around the tabletop, orbiting two spoons and an unwashed mug.

"You made a success of things yet, Adri?" asked the space-girl voice through the haunted headphones. "Have you become the latest rising star? Have you reached your true creative potential? Your earning power? Have you carved your neat little niche in the world yet?

"Because, you see, I can't help you with any of that. I can't make this world work for you, and I'm not sure I'd even care to try."

A small flock of miniature, ripple-bodied aliens flew out of the cloud and nested quietly over the cooker.

"But I can certainly help you with the other stuff," continued the space girl.

"I can help with those moments when you're looking out of the window and the street feels strangely empty, like a long trail of unanswered heartbeats pounding out to the horizon, daring you to find something that'll fill the hole that's suddenly opened up inside you.

"When most people feel that, they turn away from the window, turn on the TV and try to forget it ever happened. But not you. When you see that empty road, you're just aching to find something that'll fill the empty space - so that the next time you're staring into the street, or the broken TV, or the guy next door, or that girl in the cafe who could so easily be your friend if you just knew the words...

"I can make it so that the next time you see any of those things, you'll have something better to say.

"So come with me, Adri, and let's see just how far you can go."

Read more!

Saturday, January 10, 2009 My Warren Ellis' FREAKANGELS Review

Check out my first, most glorious review of Warren Ellis' comic series FREAKANGELS, only on - and COMMENT, minions, COMMENT your heart out!

No need to click "Read More," there's nothing else.
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Friday, January 9, 2009

Brilliant Blogtime Mailfind!

Checking my email is usually a dull occurrence - but today my world was rocked by a most FUN gesture. John, who hails from the UK and who heads Smoke Rings & Matterings, sent me an adorable, quirky lil' creation just for Happy Blogtime! Mine! Allll mine!!!

Thanks Johnny boy!

No need to click "Read More," there's nothing else.
Read more!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Current Lit List: January 8, 2009

To be a true NERD (say it like Toby Radloff) you've got to be reading AT LEAST three books at a time. Here's what I've got my mitts on these days:

I've clearly got the Bryan Talbot fever - I really can't get enough. You can check out his Myspace page here and keep your eyes peeled for my review of Cherubs and Alice in Sunderland coming soooooon.

And this Chatzky gal really knows her stuff, though I still plan on making lots of excuses even when I DO eventually make money some day.

Read any of these? What did you think? COMMENT, fools!

Oh, and no need to click "Read More," there's nothing else.

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Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Something like NY Comic Con!

In case you were wondering, that title should be read to the beat of "Something Like a Phenomenon," by the inimitable LL Cool J (or as Lucy Vonne's Mom likes to call him, LL J Cool). I'm super clever.

As you nerdnuggets know, the New York Comic Con is just around the corner (February 6-8), and I'm beyond excited; not only for the books and industry all-stars, but to get my flirt on with the guys who think they're superheroes. Spandex-y bulges are what I like.

People have asked if I'm dressing up for the Con. And, I'll be honest, I'm mulling it over; I think it would be absolutely hilarious to garb it up in the geekiest way possible. Jahfurry and Michael Malice think I should just go ALL out and dress as DC Comics villainess, Cheetah (I was thinking more of the Silver Age Cheetah vs. the Golden and Modern Age).

Silver Age Cheetah

Modern Age Cheetah

A couple of other male counterparts interjected that it didn't really matter WHO I dressed up as, as long as it was tight and scant.

Minions, I need your help. I have one month to come up with an amaaazing costume to blow the other nerdesses out of the water. Send me your BEST Comic Con costume suggestions by commenting on this post!

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Monday, January 5, 2009

Asian Invasion: Cute/Weird Stuff I Want from Japan

From the Land of the Rising Sun emerges new and wonderous gadgetry and ridiculousness that is rivaled only by...well...China, occasionally.

Here are a few sassy lil' trinkets I happened upon during my latest perusal on favorite Jappop destination, A Rinkya Blog.

Angel and Devil Headphones from Greenhouse Japan

I'm a notorious earphone wrecker; I've been known to yank those suckers out of my laptop too quickly, leaving half of them still plugged in and the other half in my sad, trembling hand. Regardless, I keep going back for more, and this time around I'm going to invest in these freakin' adorable Angel and Devil earphones from Greenhouse Japan. Not only are they cute, but they really play off my dual personality. Hurrah for disorders!

Click "Read More" for my more, and for my all-time favorite!

I Heart Diet Scale

I LOVE me some Engrish (check out my last Engrish post)- throw some fat jokes into the mix, and you've got me hooked like phonics. That's why I NEED this scale - moreso to make me laugh instead of sobbing uncontrollably after I look down at the numbers.

The Molester Protecter Seal Keychain

This saccharine looking little guy ain't so sweet on molesters. It's a keychain that acts as a type of taser if you're attacked, sending 150 volts through whoever's unfortunate body you force it onto. It's pretty much a metaphor for my feminine wiles; innocent until messed with.

Chapit The Lovable Robot

Now THIS guy needs to be my new best friend. Sorry, Lucy Vonne, but you don't do things like answer and redirect my phone calls, sync with my computer and act as a media server (although, you do bake delicious cookies and have some sweet dancing moves).

Chapit, this wiry ball of delight, was designed by Japanese robotics company Raytron and was recently on exhibition at the Napia Nakanoshima housing project. This little guy represents the future of a robotic conduit between house and human; in addition to computer-syncing and phone-answering, he will wake you, control your household appliances, electronics and theromstats, and interact with you in a couple of languages. He's capable of learning up to 10,000 words, and even conveys emotion by flashing lights and body movements.

Which is the least I can say for the men I've recently dated - no emotional expression or communication whatsoever. You can pick up Chapit for a whopping 200,000 YEN ($1,944), which is a small price to pay for NEVER HAVING TO BE ALONE AGAIN.

Read more!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Growing My Very Own Unicorn: Day 1

No need to click 'Read More' - there's nothing else.
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Thursday, January 1, 2009

Paul Pope + Kidrobot + Playboy = What, You Couldn't Guess? HOTNESS!

Flipping through this month's issue of Playboy (I have a subscription, okay? If anyone needs back issues, they're stacked on my toilet), I happened upon a most pleasant discovery: Paul Pope has a new, sassy bit o' toy out there for the lady lovers - a 7.5 inch soft vinyl figure of Monique St. Pierre, Playboy Miss November 1978, exclusively for Kidrobot.

Paul Pope's span of creativity clearly runs the gamut - he's been known to dabble in graphic novels (one of which was just picked up by Paramount, Battling Boy), mind-blowing art books (I'm LOVING PulpHope: The Art of Paul Pope) and even has a clothing collection for DKNY Jeans.

Oh, and did I mention he worked his Pope-tastic magic on BATMAN YEAR 100? His rendition of Gotham's Greatest is one for the history books - and the homemade collage that hangs over my bed in tribute to my one true crime-fighting love.

Check out Paul's blog here:

And click "Read More" for some of my PP faves (oh, and there's one in there slightly NSFW, just be warned)!

The Masked Karimbah (also made into a Kidrobot Toy. See it here).

Floating Barefoot

And some steamy Pin-Ups:

Read more!
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